After All That We've Been Through
by LyssaxGirl
Summary: Kendall and Logan have been friends for years and they've been through a lot. Logan also has secret feelings for Kendall that Kendall doesn't know about and accidentally hurts Logan over and over again. Based on a true story. Rated M for many reasons AU
1. The Beginning of the Hurt

A/N: So here we are with another new story. This is based on true events in my life. This is my first and probably only story that will be written in first person. In this story Logan is me and Kendall is this guy I've known since kindergarten. I also wanted to thank two people and that is _Ieeerr _and _Kendall's Logiebear_. They have both helped me out with inspiration for this story and also with emotional support. I don't think that I would have written or posted this without them.

**After All That We've Been Through**

**Chapter One: The Beginning of the Hurt**

"Logan" I heard a familiar voice say on the other end of the line. I knew that something good must have happened because he sounded extremely happy.

"What is it Kendall?" I asked hoping for the best. With Kendall you really don't know what to expect. The last time I got a call from him he was states away from where he was supposed to be. I told him that he needed to go back before he got his ass in trouble but Kendall was the type of boy who laughed in the face of trouble and didn't realize how badly he screwed up until the trouble he caused swallowed him whole. I was always there for him, even though I regretted it sometimes. I am his best friend, I needed to comfort him and give him the advice to get the guy he was fascinated with at the moment. God knew that those relationships wouldn't last long and he would be back together with _him_. It was because of Kendall that I am not allowed to say _his_ name. I also hate the person secretly but only my brother knew that.

"Guess where I am standing right now." Once again, with Kendall this could be anything.

"I don't know."

"Uh uh, you got to guess something before I tell you."

"Iowa" that was where I lived. I had been hoping for months that he would return to Iowa

"Good guess but no. I am standing outside base" I thought about what he had just said before it clicked in my mind.

"Are you finally out?"

"Yep. Who knew that going AWOL a second time would finally lead to me getting out of the army?" He sounded so proud of himself and yet I was conflicted. I was surprised that he didn't get in trouble, and I was so happy that he would finally be coming back home.

"That's great! So when are you going to be back home?"

"You see, I'm actually not coming home right away. I'm going to Wisconsin with Dak" My heart stopped beating. Of course he would want to be with Dak, they were engaged after all.

"Oh well, I hope I can see you sometime soon." Tears were not built up in my eyes and I tried not to sound sad while talking to him. I have become very skilled in this department after all that we've been through.

**-After All That We've Been Through-**

Everything about Kendall and mainly happened during this latest year, but that's not the beginning. It started way back in sophomore year, three years ago. I've known him for longer, much longer. Since kindergarten to be exact but it's mattered until then. We had a few classes together and he had a class with my brother and we connected over the love of one thing, and that was helping the mentally handicapped that were at our high school. Through that year and until junior year we were still as strong of friends as ever. He wasn't my best friend and I wasn't his but I couldn't help but develop quite a crush on my blond friend. He was truly amazing. He was funny yet sweet, tall with slight muscle (the way I like it) and a laid back attitude like he never cared but deep down you knew he did. That was what made him special and that was caused me to like him in the first place.

I was going to tell him that I like him until I found out that he was back in a relationship with _him._ His name was Jett and he was the devil, at least in my eyes. I could stand him I really could but I would always hate him for having Kendall. I was happy for Kendall though, he found somebody that made him happy.

Their relationship didn't last long and I was so happy about that. Again, I was working up the courage to tell him how I feel when one day my best friend, Carlos Garcia came up to me and told me something that made me try to forget about Kendall a second time.

"Hey Logie" Carlos said looking at me with sad eyes.

"What's wrong buddy?"

"I told Kendall how I felt about him last night." I felt sick. I never even knew that Carlos had feelings for Kendall. I felt like an awful friend and like a coward for not being able to tell Kendall how I felt sooner.

"Oh, what did he say?"

"He turned me down." Carlos was sad I knew it but I would be too. I was now glad that I never admitting my feelings. I also felt really badly for Carlos, I knew that he must be really heartbroken.

"Ah, I'm sorry Carlos. You'll find someone else though" I knew that might not make the Latino feel any better but I had to find some way to cheer him up. I hated not being able to cheer him up and he would get depressed and just sit there sighing over and over again.

"I know, and he was really nice about it."

"Well at least he wasn't a jerk about it."

"Yeah, I guess." I was about to reply when the bell rang signaling that lunch was over.

That was all that Carlos and I talked about that happening. He didn't want to talk about it afterwards and I didn't want to hear how my best friend and I liked the same guy and this shy guy who you could hardly hear half of the time was man enough to tell him his feelings first. That thought made me repress my feelings about him once again. Then not even a month later he was back together with Jett and I felt like I wanted to die.

It was crazy, everything I felt was just over one boy in high school. Most high school sweethearts never last so why was I trying so hard now? There were also other guys at our school who might be interested in me, but now that I think about it who would be interested in little geeky Logan. The worst part about the whole situation is that neither Carlos nor Kendall knew that they hurt me but that was how I was going to leave it. I am a strong person and I don't need to show my hurt and possibly lose two of the best people in my life. I never would have guessed that from junior year of high school to this very day that I would have the same philosophy: Kendall never need to know how much he has hurt me.

A/N: So that is the first chapter. Like I said, this story is based on my life and the true happenings that it has had with a guy. I also know that this chapter is short but there will be more in the future. So, if you want to know the rest of the tale review and let me know if you think that I should continue this story. Also, if you are confused about anything send me a message and I'll clarify things. Review!


	2. Joining The Army

A/N: I'm already on chapter two, wow. With most of my stories it takes me quite a while to get things fully typed but I can't stop writing this story. I also wanted to thank all the people who reviewed last chapter. With this story, there is going to be a lot of sadness and it was hard to pick two genres it fit into because it fits into a lot so just a heads up for you guys. I also forgot to put the disclaimer on the last chapter so I'll add it here.

Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or anything from it.

**Chapter Two: Joining the Army**

After Carlos had told Kendall about how he felt Kendall and Carlos had really stopped being friends. I never actually knew what happened between the two of them but I was happy that he was still a part of my life. If I was just in Kendall's life that would mean the world to me. I didn't want to be one of those people who just fade away from him and then never speak to each other again. Kendall was like a drug to me. Even if I wasn't using it, I still want it to be there for support. That's what Kendall says about the drugs he takes anyways.

It was the third trimester of my junior year when things finally started to look up. Kendall was now skipping the class we had together so often I'm surprised they didn't just remove him from the class list and my friend Alex and I were growing even closer. I don't know what it is about some of my male friends but some point in our friendship I always seem to develop a small crush on them. I think it's because of the support they give me and the way they bring me up when I'm down.

I thought I was finally getting over Kendall, which I was happy about. No longer would I have to sit there and wonder why wasn't I so special and why Jett of all people when everybody knew that it wasn't going to last. That was my hope though. Whenever Kendall and Jett were dating Kendall always seemed to throw himself emotionally at Jett and I hoped that he wouldn't get hurt in the end. Even if he did everybody knew that I would be there to help pick up the pieces. I hated myself for always being there for him and yet I loved it. I loved that I felt needed by him, even if it was there for a very short amount of time.

It was near the end of the school year when everything came crashing back down. I was waiting on my father to pick me up from school because I had to stay late. Normally I would take the bus but I hated walking back from the bus stop so I would lie and tell him that I needed to stay after school for one reason or another. Whenever I would do this I would go down to my favorite teacher's classroom and sit in there and we would talk. Mainly we would talk about how much I hated my home life and how my father continued to emotionally hurt me when he was drunk.

Mr. Smith needed to go home because he had his usual date night with his wife. Apparently they were going to see the latest romantic comedy that had come out to theaters. I joked with him about how I'm happy I'm not going because I don't need to see him making out with his wife in the back of the movie theater. That's what was so great about him, was that we could joke about stuff like that. Hanging out with Mr. Smith always left me in a good mood, which was the state I was in until I saw Kendall walk out of the school.

"Oh hey Logan" I smiled at him. He seemed to be in a good mood, but he was probably high so it wasn't like it mattered much.

"Hey Kendall. What's new?" I asked and he laughed.

"What isn't new? Well in a few days I'll be eighteen."

"Nice, so you'll finally be able to legally buy cigarettes." I knew that Kendall smoked for two reasons. One, my father has smoked since way before I was born so I could smell the smoke on him. The second reason was Kendall never had a filter on his mouth and he was always talking about smoking cigarettes or pot or whatever drug he was on that week. His main topic of choice though was his consumption of alcohol.

"That's what Seth said." Seth was one of Kendall's best friends at the time. "I told him now I could buy porn." I laughed at this.

"Of course you would say that." We both continued to laugh.

"Oh it's not like you never thought about watching porn." In reality I never wanted to watch porn. I was a good kid, never thought about stuff like that.

"Actually no. Remember, I'm a good kid."

"That's right. I'm surprised that I haven't rubbed off on you yet." I laughed. My brother was a bad influence too but I was too scared of my father to do anything really bad.

"Wait till you meet my father then you'll realize why I'm the good kid."

"I take that challenge" I face palmed. There was no way I wanted Kendall to meet my father. If my dad knew about half of the things Kendall did my ass would be forbidden to see him.

"That's ok. So, how is everything in school going for you? I mean for the classes you don't regularly skip."

"Oh, classes. Well actually about school in general I decided that I'm going to drop out." My mouth dropped. I couldn't believe it. I've tried so hard to get him to stay in school and at least not fail some of his classes. I did assignments for him; I tutored him because he slept all throughout class. All my hard work was just thrown out the window. "I decided that I'm going to join the army." The army, THE FUCKING ARMY! I was so mad.

"Well if that's what you really want to do." Even though I was mad Kendall couldn't know. I don't know why but for some reason I could never show my true emotions around him. I just always wanted him to be happy, even if it left me broken.

"It is. I can get my GED through them and then go to college and become a paraeducator." A paraeducator was a certified person who works with mentally handicapped students in schools and other places like that.

"Nice. When I go to college I want to become like Lizzy" Lizzy was the special education teacher for the severe disabilities students and she was my hero.

"That would be a good career for you. Anyways I should get going." I didn't want him to go but I knew that his mom would be mad if he was really late. "I'll talk to you on Facebook tonight."

"You better have clothes on this time." The last time that Kendall and I really talked on Facebook was on St. Patrick's day and he was drunk and naked. Apparently he lost a game a strip poker with his family, which I should extremely weird but I wasn't going to question.

"You couldn't see me; I don't see what the big deal is!" Kendall protested.

"It's the thought that I'm talking to you while you're naked."

"I should streak in front of you one time." I laughed and blushed.

"What is it with you and being nude?"

"It's freeing."

"Don't' forget disturbing" we both laughed.

"Anyways, I'll talk to you later."

"You better!" I called after him.

I sat down on a bench near the entrance of the school. I starting thinking over the conversation that we just had. The army, of all things that Kendall could have done with his life he chose the army. Then I got to thinking that the army was going to be a good thing for him and that he would straighten up his act and stop drinking and stop doing all of these drugs. It was a miracle that his liver was undamaged from all of the alcohol he has consumed in his life.

I then got to thinking about how I would never see him anymore and that brought tears to my eyes. Even though he didn't know how I felt or if we weren't a couple I still wanted to be in his life but yet he did something that would cause me to go the extra lengths to even hear a word from him.

In reality the army brought us closer which made all the pain he has caused me so much worse.

A/N: I know that this chapter doesn't have much in it but it will coming up in the next few chapters because that is when Kendall is finally in the army and where almost all the story is. So review and let me know what you guys think of this chapter. Also, if you can relate to this story in any way let me know because I am here to listen because I have been there. So, review!


	3. Ashleigh

A/N: I know I need to update my other stories, but I am stuck on this one. This story has been running through my mind for a while now and I just can't stop writing it or bring myself to write for any other stories. Just bear with me and I will try my hardest to update my other stories. Now, with that being said I bring you chapter three.

**Chapter Three: Ashleigh**

So, being true to his word, Kendall ended up dropping out of school. He told me the real reason why he wanted to was because he was so far behind on classes that even though we were in our junior year he was considered a sophomore. I couldn't blame him for wanting to drop out, but then again he shouldn't have been stupid enough to skip classes daily until the school counselor and principal sit down with you and talk about why you haven't been in class.

After Kendall and I talked that night on Facebook it was months before I ever saw or heard from him again. I had mainly forgotten about him. There were some days though where I would miss him sitting behind me, poking my sides trying to get me to squeak because I jump when something startles me. I also miss joking with him and being able to tell him things that most people didn't know. I even told him some things that Carlos didn't even know. Even though I was sad I was also glad. Jett and Kendall had broken up again, but I wasn't going to go for it. I didn't want to be in a relationship with a guy I'm almost over.

Like most poets or old fashioned people say, tragedy brings us closer. In my eyes that's not always true. Tragedy brings you closer to the people who are there to support you, and even then sometimes people drift off into the world of depression and are stuck there until they pass away.

Death, in my eyes, in one tricky person. Death needs to happen so that the life cycle can continue and sometimes it's for the better and sometimes death just likes to emotionally screw people over. I have experienced death from when my grandparents passed away, but it never hurt me as badly until I heard the news about Ashleigh.

Ashleigh was one of the kids I had worked with in the mentally handicapped room. She had graduated two years ago, and was the first person like her to ever do so. She was also one of the people who Kendall and I bonded over. Ashleigh was in a vegetative state and could only make some sounds with her mouth, move her head and eyes. She couldn't even eat on her own but yet I was there almost every day talking to her, making her feel like she was a part of the world and not some _retarded _kid.

I was currently in Lizzy's classroom, working with my favorite student. His name was Jordan and I had been working with him since my freshman year of high school. Seeing now how it was senior year, Jordan and I bonded like nobody in that classroom had. If I was in the classroom nobody else could be by him or even touch him. I was Jordan's and Jordan was mine. While working with Jordan, Lizzy came up behind me and leaned over so she could whisper in my ear.

"I am whispering so Amanda doesn't hear" Amanda was Ashleigh's younger sister who had the same disease as Ashleigh but it was progressing slower. Amanda could still walk, talk, eat and a bunch of other things. It was sad how Amanda was going to slowly end up like her sister. "Ashleigh died last night in her sleep. I know that you were close to her, so I decided to tell you." Lizzy then stood up and looked at my face. I was in shock; I didn't know what to feel. To be honest, I felt numb.

"That's terrible. At least she went peacefully." I whispered to Lizzy. One of the hardest parts about all this was the fact that Amanda probably would never truly understand that Ashleigh will no longer be around.

Lizzy just shook her head and walked away. I just sat there, my hand in Jordan's because he refused to let it be anywhere else. I started thinking about Ashleigh and all the times I had with her. All the times that Kendall and I had spent with her, just laughing and doing anything to get her to smile. I then looked at Jordan, who was my true best friend. Sure I had Carlos and even my brother, Sam, were my best friends but none of them compared to Jordan. With Jordan, he knew everything. He knew whatever I was feeling and if I was mad or sad he knew how to cheer me up. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost him.

That was the thought that finally let the thought that Ashleigh was gone sink into my mind. "Hey, buddy, I need to go. Ok?" Jordan just gave me a look. He couldn't talk but I knew exactly what that look meant. He was telling me to stay there or he was going to kill me. I just shook my head, tears building up in my eyes. "I'll be back in a couple minutes." Jordan slowly let go of my hand and just smiled at me. I loved that smile but nothing could really calm me down at the moment.

Sure I was sad that Ashleigh was gone but the main reason why I was now crying on my way to the bathroom was the whole thought of losing Jordan. Out of everything else, it was that thought that was unbearable.

When I had reached the bathroom I looked myself in the mirror. I suddenly grew angry and next thing I realized the trash can was halfway across the bathroom floor. I had pulled out my phone and called my mom. Out of all other people I knew that she was the one who would understand the most. As I was talking to her, she kept asking me what I wanted to do. I didn't know what to do or what to say but all I know was that I couldn't be at school anymore.

**-After All That We've Been Through-**

A couple of days had passed by and I was feeling a little better then I felt the day I found out about Ashleigh. I ended up hanging out with my brother and my friend, Shane. They cheered me up a lot and I ended up staying there for the weekend. My mother didn't even care if I didn't come home which I was extremely thankful for. No longer would I have her constantly down my throat with the list of chores she needed me to do before she went to bed.

Now it was Monday and here I was, back in Lizzy's classroom holding Jordan's hand. He was supposed to be shredding paper but like always he just wanted to play. I then turn around because I heard the door open and there steps in was the person I had not seen in a long time, Kendall. I didn't know if he knew about Ashleigh or not, but Kendall was so much closer to her then I ever was. I also found it a little funny at the time but Ashleigh had this huge crush on him, but hey who could blame her?

I walked away from Jordan, and I could already tell that he was upset with me. "Hey Kendall."

"Oh hey!" He sounded happy, like always.

"Haven't talked to you in forever." He nodded his head. "Hey, did you hear about Ashleigh?"

"What about her?" I take that as a no.

"She died last week." Kendall froze, and ended up dropped his phone. He now had a blank expression on his face. He just stood there for a minute before he grabbed my hand and his phone and pulled me out into the hallway.

"How?"

"She died in her sleep. Her heart gave out on her." Kendall never cried in front of anybody but yet I saw water build up in his eyes.

"I need to call my sister. Do you know when the funeral is?"

"Yeah, it's on the tenth" which was just two days away. "Lizzy has all the information on that." He nodded his head. I then stood out in the hallway as he called his sister. Even though I know he was sad, Kendall never really had a sad tone of voice. I didn't know how he was handling it so well, but then again I only saw what was on the outside.

Once he hung up with his sister Kendall came over to me and pulled me in a hug. "I missed you," he said and my world stood still. Why did he have to tell me this? Why couldn't he just ever let me get over him? All sorts of thoughts were running in my head but the most common one that I was thinking I decided to say.

"I missed you too." He pulled away and I instantly missed the contact.

"So, I need to go talk to Lizzy and then I'm going to go see some of my friends. I'll try and talk to you later." I just nodded my head. I knew that it was an empty promise. People like Kendall no longer had the need to keep in touch with people like me. I should have known from the beginning that him dropping out would cause me to never speak to him again.

"Oh wait." Kendall turned around. "When do you leave for the army?"

"In April" I was happy that it was months away.

"So will I be able to see you again before you leave."

"I promise I'll say goodbye to you." That right there was the best thing I had heard in such a long time and I had no idea why. Kendall was saying goodbye; it wasn't something to be happy about.

"You better"

A/N: So there was chapter three. I know that it wasn't the greatest chapter out there but in two chapters that is when everything really starts to happen so look out for that.


	4. A Final Goodbye

A/N: So thank you for all that reviewed. I know that this story is actually not all that interesting yet, but wait until next chapter or possibly the chapter after that. There is a lot of shit that goes down that you aren't going to want to miss. I am also sorry about not updating my other stories; I just haven't gotten to that yet. I am in sort of a _blah_ phase that I can't get out of at the moment so just bear with me. Anyways, go read!

**Chapter Four: A Final Goodbye**

Kendall and I had talked over even a few more months before he was getting ready to leave for the military. I was really sad to see him go, but then again I was happy. I was happy because yet again Jett and Kendall were back together. He was talking about prom and how he hated how Kendall was leaving so he wouldn't have a date. Me, however, I didn't really care about prom. Yes I wanted to go, but my mind was worried about other things. Only some of them being about Kendall.

Recently Carlos had come to me about a little something he started up.

"I did something bad last night." Carlos told me as he approached me. His head was hanging a little low which meant that he felt guilty about it. I also knew that Carlos was slightly terrified to tell me things especially when he knew that they would upset me. When he told me that Jett and Kendall were together yet again he made sure to quickly leave afterwards afraid of what I was going to do. It had been known that in the Mitchell family temper was an easy thing to lose.

"Oh, and what's that." Carlos and I have a very different version of bad so I was quite curious on what he had to say.

Instead of answering me, Carlos pulled up his sleeve a little bit and I gasped at what I saw. There in his left wrist were about ten to fifteen cuts. "Are you mad at me?" How could he even ask that? Of course I was mad!

"Yes. Why would you even do this to yourself?" My voice was a bit louder than it should've been. I was just lucky that it was lunch time so everybody was loud.

"I don't know, I just wanted to know what it felt like."

"Are you serious? You really cut yourself because you wanted to know what it felt like. Don't' you know that it can become an addiction?" Carlos just nodded his head. "Hold out your arm."

"Why?"

"Just do it," It was a harsher tone then I ever wanted to use with Carlos but I couldn't help but be mad. Hell I was beyond mad, how could he be so reckless? Carlos rolled up his sleeve again and held out his arm. I quickly slapped the area that had the cuts. I knew that it would hurt but that's what he needed to feel. He needed to know that there was a lot of pain that involved cutting himself.

"That hurt." He said pulling his arm away.

"It was meant to. Now think about the pain that I just caused you if you ever think about doing it again. Every time you do it I will slap even harder. Understand?" I hated it but a lot of people knew that I became a parent around the people I care most. Most of the time when I am talking to Kendall I am telling him not to do something and why it is a bad idea. That happens more times than not in our recent conversations.

"Don't give him a hard time. A lot of people cut." I turned around seeing the blond himself. I've known for months now that Kendall cut himself but I did the exact same thing to him that I did to Carlos. Cutting wasn't supposed to cause people to feel good, that's why I wanted to bring pain to them to remind them that it wasn't ok. I know that it wasn't the best method but it got Kendall to stop cutting for a couple of days because I sure as hell knew how to hit the right spot hard enough.

"Yeah, but it's not a good thing."

"Well duh." He smirked and it caused me to smile a little. I didn't know why I was smiling, cutting was such an awful topic to be smiling about.

"So what brings you back to high school?" I knew that he was probably here visiting Lizzy. It was the end of March so he was probably telling her goodbye. He probably forgot to say goodbye to me and just ran into me by luck.

"I came to say goodbye. I told you I would." I nodded my head.

"I can't believe that you will be gone for eight years." Kendall laughed at this.

"We both know that I am going to get kicked out way before then. You'll probably see me in like three years." There was a high probability of Kendall being kicked out of the army. Hell, he would probably desert if it sucked that badly. I just really hoped that he pulled through it so it would make him a better person. That was the goal at least.

"That's still a long time." Kendall moved closer to me so that he was now staring down at me.

"I will be back and I will make sure to come visit you. You're such a good friend Logan I couldn't lose you." There was that word, _friend_. I was in the friend zone and it sucked. But hey I've been in the friend zone with him for over a year now, what's a few more? Kendall then pulled me into a hug. He knew that I loved hugs, especially his hugs. I don't know what it was about everybody else but there was something about Kendall that made his hugs better then everybody else's. I was about to say something but Kendall pulled away. "So, have you seen my wonderful boyfriend?"

With that words escaped me. Of course he was here to see Jett. He would just say goodbye and leave; apparently that's what he's good at. _No Logan, stop it. Don't be mean. You are his friend and its better than not being in his life at all._ Never in my life had I ever disagreed with that statement until now. I don't know why but that right there had broken my heart yet again.

I had pointed to where Jett was and he just smiled. "Thank you Logan. Hey, now I can drink whenever the hell I want."

"Don't you already do that?" Kendall laughed.

"Well, yeah. Now I don't have to worry about getting caught."

"Your liver hates you, just so you know."

"My liver loves me." Yeah right. Kendall has been drinking more than Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton and a bunch of other drunken celebrities combined. Kendall even made his own vodka that would knock hiss ass out after three shots. That's why Kendall's liver hated him.

"Keep telling yourself that but it's going to be me telling you I told you so when you call me from the hospital with liver failure." Kendall just laughed. He didn't really understand how serious I was being. Kendall was going to die before he turned the age of 27. That's how sad it was and yet here I was pining after a guy I knew who isn't going to live long.

"If that happens, I'll allow you to tell me I told you so."

"I like that answer. Now, go talk to Jett." And with that Kendall was off leaving me feel like crap like after every other time I talk to him. I feel guilty whenever I talk to Kendall anymore especially when he talks about Jett. I didn't know why but I just hated that he had him and yet there I was slightly flirting with Kendall and he was slightly flirting back. That might just be me though because in our relationship it was all one side and that was all me.

A/N: So there was chapter four. I know that it isn't much but there will be soon. So why don't you all click that fancy new(ish) review button and tell me what you guys thought about the chapter. Can't wait to hear what you guys have to say.


	5. Start of a New Kind of Friendship

A/N: I know it's been quite a while since I updated this story but a lot of has been happening in life and besides that there is the fact that I just didn't feel up to writing. So since I am updating all of my stories, well at least trying to, I thought why not this one. Anyways, I hope you enjoy so scroll down and read.

**Chapter Five: The Start of a New Kind of Friendship**

Life without Kendall was indescribable. I missed him a lot but as weeks, then months passed I hardly even thought about him. There would be times that I would just stop to think about what trouble he has gotten into or if the army has actually helped him like his original plan was. Although I hoped the answer was yes, I could already tell that the answer was no.

Since Kendall had told me his final goodbye, a lot has changed for me. I was still single, not a guy in sight, but that didn't mean that I had given up looking. But besides my lack of romance in my life, I had changed a lot as a person. I wasn't really someone that people just walked all over anymore. I had graduated high school, went to St. Louis and had the time of my life for a few days, made a lot of new friends and then I started my first year of college at the local community college in town.

Carlos was really the only person that I liked that went there. All of the friends I had made over summer and almost all of my old friends from high school were either at different colleges or still in high school. However, Carlos and I grew even closer and for the first time I had told him about my old feelings about Kendall and we had a small laugh about it, discussing how both of us fell into a cycle that hardly anybody kept away from. It's not like Kendall was a player, which he really wasn't, it was more along the lines that a lot of people wanted him but he was so wrapped up with Jett and himself that Kendall could really be oblivious to everything else.

Kendall and I hardly talked anymore, whenever we would talk it would just be a simple _hi_ on Facebook or a _howdy_ which was the way that Kendall liked to write hello. Other than that there was no contact between us and I was perfectly fine with that.

However, one day I got this really strange message on from him when I was just messing around on Facebook. It was a simple _**You are going to kill me when I tell you something**_. Curiosity was rapidly growing in through my body.

_Why?_ I typed just a simple response.

_**Because I did something really stupid**_. Of course he did, when didn't he do something stupid that he later regretted? I knew I was being a little bitter but that was just the part of me that wanted him to stop being so moronic and do something responsible for once.

_How bad is it?_

_**That depends on how you react to it.**_ I was confused by the sentence but continued to type anyways.

_So you think I'm going to react badly?_ I already knew the answer to that. Whenever Kendall did something stupid I would hit him or give him a small lecture. I knew that I was like my father when I acted like that but I couldn't help it.

_**Well, you tell me. I knocked up one of my coworkers**_. My eyes went wide when I read that. "He what!" I yelled to myself in my room. I couldn't believe it, out of all the things he could do, he had to go and get someone pregnant. A fellow member in the army for that matter. After that I yelled a little at him, but I also understood. God knows he slept around I just thought that he would have been more careful.

Towards the end of our conversation that night we began to discuss baby names. This made me smile, thinking about how he was stepping up and taking responsibility. It also made me smile knowing that he was stepping up and taking care of this. Through the entire conversation we agreed only on one name, Peter. He really liked it and I thought that the name would really suit his child, even though the girl he had knocked up had just found out that she was pregnant.

When Kendall and I had both logged off to go to bed, I couldn't find myself being able to sleep. All I kept thinking about was how lucky that girl was to have Kendall taking care of her. I know that I shouldn't be jealous over this girl who was going possibly going to lose her career in the army because of Kendall but to have him there for her, hell it was more than that. Just to be able to sleep with him, that's the true reason I was jealous. I knew that I should be over him but I still wanted him. He was just so special and no matter how much I wanted to forget about him and just give up I couldn't.

A/N: So I know that this is a shorter chapter but the real drama really starts to happen in the next chapter so stay turned and don't stop reading. After the next chapter there is going to be a lot of drama so look forward to that. Anyways, review and let me know what you thought about the chapter and look out for my other stories for when/if I update them.


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